When I’ve got a massive decision to make, I sometimes tie myself up in spiritual and emotional knots.
Did I hear from God? What if what I thought was God, was just my own emotions? What if He wants me to do the exact opposite? If the thing He said He would do hasn’t happened, does that mean I made it up? How can I be sure that the direction I’m going is the right one?
And so on. It’s exhausting.
Recently, I got chatting to a friend and she said God had been teaching her about rest, about stopping. Simply, stopping.
Stopping the silly, raggedy thought processes and instead, simply saying to God, ‘Here I am, with all my junk, doubts, silly thoughts….HELP me please’.
Such a simple thought but it really smacked me between the eyes.
I opened up my, ‘She reads truth’ devotional this morning and it was along the same lines. It was talking about the Saul/Paul Damascus Rd experience and how God met him on the road. Not at the destination, but on the journey.
The message was simple, ask God to meet you where you are, with all your failings and wanderings and stupidness ….and He will.
Really, really like that thought, that I don’t have to stress and second guess and beat myself up – I can just say, Lord, this is what I think I should do….please will you show me now if that’s right?’
In other words, ‘I give up’.
This song sums it up: