I had a really busy day yesterday and ended it at the gym, determined to take out my stresses on the poor old treadmill, rather than take them home.
Exercise, in a weird way, is a bit like worship to me. I plug myself into my iPod and get lost in the moment. Sometimes I think, sometimes I pray, though lots of times I mostly just sweat like a wildebeast and whine for 24 hours about how ‘everythiiiiiinnnngggggg hurts’.
But I digress, because yesterday there were a couple of pressing situations in my head and I found myself asking God, ‘Lord, where ARE you in all of this….how come I can’t see what you’re doing??’
Went home, ate dinner, yacked on the phone for ages and I finally fell into bed, headfirst into a really horrible dream.
I was all tangled up in a thick, sleeping bag and an evil force was sitting on top of me, trying to shove the sleeping bag down my throat. I was fighting to get away and kept hearing this weird voice say, ‘We’re going to kill her…we’re going to kill her’.
I lay stock still (in the dream) figuring that playing dead might help, but as soon as I wriggled, the shoving and suffocating started again. In my head was this thought, ‘if I can call out to Jesus, this will go away…’ But the ‘force’ prevented me from talking and I couldn’t get out a word.
I woke up, seconds later, gasping and *just* managing to hurl out the words, ‘Jesus…HELP’.
I’m not one for getting ‘spooked’ but this was SO vivid, I felt a bit rattled. Took a few deep breaths as I fully emerged into consciousness and looked at my phone to see what time it was; 3.10am.
In an attempt to orient myself again with the real world, I clicked on the Facebook app and this was the first thing that appeared (took a screenshot, first thing when the alarm went off this morn, to prove it!!)
It just reminded me (because it CAN be easy to forget) that life IS a battle, often against things we cannot see.
We can ask God where He is in a situation, but sometimes, things occur not because He isn’t there, but because you’re coming face to face with evil.
I was always taught to believe that when this happens, be encouraged. If the devil’s got you on his ‘person of interest’ list, that’s a GOOD thing.
I’d rather not be half-suffocated in a sleeping bag, but I woke up feeling oddly up-beat.
At least I know who wins in the end.