Today definitely had a few stressy moments; a phone chat with raised tensions, a major purchase which may have been unnecessary…and a few moments of thinking, ‘Pants…what have we done???’
I sometimes have those moments; ones where the world seemingly spins off into orbit, with me, glued in a downward gravitational pull to the side of the planet screaming, ‘Let me oooofffffffff’.
And then I calm down and as always, realise (once again) that things are rarely as bad as my initial panicked reaction thinks they are.
No, really…they’re not.
Well ok, sometimes they are. But MOST of the time they’re not…but whatever the circumstances, that little quiet heavenly (barely audible) voice whispers into my red and fractious ears; ‘Cast ALL your anxieties onto Me…yes Paula….all of them…yup…that one too…’
But…but…what if you don’t take care of this the way I want you to? What if you don’t understand how this makes me feel? What if this is a big spiritual test and THIS time, you’re going to abandon me to fate?’
And then there’s that quiet, stress-less whisper again;
What part of ‘all’, do you not understand?
I stop, pause and breathe and once again I know, that whatever the outcome, it’ll be ok.
I don’t know how I know that, but perhaps it’s about developing a bigger confidence in God? About feeling like He knows and is working the fractured pieces together…to make a lovely joined-up jigsaw?
That is what I believe.