UGLY GRACE

When you’re stuck in a rut…

Over the last couple of days, I’ve been thinking about the faithfulness of God. It sounds like a heavy thing to be mulling over, but it all started at the beginning of the week when I received a notification on Facebook, suggesting I look back at my ‘Facebook memories’.

As I curiously flicked back eight, nine, ten years, I started to think about how much my life has changed in that time.

In fact, just three years ago, life looked very, very different. I’ll not go into all the gory details, but I was tired, frustrated and stuck in what can only be described as a toxic personal situation. I was angry, trying REALLY hard to fix things in my own strength and (not surprisingly) banging my head against a brick wall.

A seemingly ‘chance’ encounter led to me being prayed for at a meeting (I wrote about it in another blog post Surprised by God) and that day, although I didn’t know it at the time, something was genuinely unlocked and changed in me.

Immediately after that meeting, I was filled with this strength of conviction that I needed to sever ties with the situation which was sapping my confidence. And the very next day, I did it and I absolutely knew, with ‘God confidence’ that it was the right thing to do.

The relief was like taking the lid off a pressure cooker!

But that was really just the beginning, because one by one, bricks in walls that I thought were never going to fall, began to wobble.

I could see a heavenly strategy emerging where little by little, God was removing and replacing things in my life, shaping me up for brand new challenges. I can honestly say (cheers for the reminder Facebook Memories!) that two years ago, I would have laughed heartily, if you’d have told me how things would be today. I genuinely don’t think I would have believed it.

The reality is, there was a plan all along. Through the many disappointments, stresses, seemingly immovable objects, God was chipping away at both the situations but also at my character, knocking off plenty of the less desirable bits. That is most definitely an ongoing process!!

The point is, his faithfulness and strategy has been on display from the very beginning although admittedly, I often couldn’t see it.

This morning, I woke up with the words to a song in my head, ‘All my life you have been faithful, all my life, you have been so, so good, with every breath that I am able, I will sing of the goodness of God’. (C)

The song is a mirror of famous words in Deuteronomy;

Understand, therefore, that the Lord your God is indeed God. He is the faithful God who keeps his covenant for a thousand generations and lavishes his unfailing love on those who love him and obey his commands.” (Deuteronomy‬ ‭7:9‬ ‭NLT‬‬)

Have I been faithful? Plenty of times, no. I have questioned, argued, fought back, ranted, gossiped, taken things into my own hands, but I think I’ve probably always (at the back of my mind somewhere) had a sneaking suspicion that despite my hiccups, God did have a plan.

And he still does! I can see it in operation now and I also know that in another two years or three years or four years, things could look very different again. And that is ok!

So, here’s a thought to round it up, if you’re stuck in a rut and your situation seems like it’ll never change, don’t rely on your own ability to fix it but rely on the character of God and what you know about him.

Through all of life’s ups and downs, he has always been faithful to me.

And for that reason, no matter what the future holds, I can hang on with confidence that he will continue to be faithful.

(C)

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