I think I have a bit of a problem. I’ve always dismissed this problem as being ‘just the way I am’ but maybe that’s not a good enough response.
For context, I have a low tolerance for anything that smells of personal injustice. If I feel like I (or someone I care for) has been treated unfairly or scammed, I go from 0 to 2000 in the time it would take most people to draw a breath. I have this irrational over-the-top reaction, I get angry, red-faced and man, I am GOING TO MAKE THIS RIGHT. In those moments of extreme emotion, no one can make me see reason at all. All I want is JUSTICE. Injustice is like a big red trigger button in my life and if it gets pushed, woe and betide those who push it.
Tonight was a prime example! I was getting ready to leave work when an unexpected email popped up on my phone. Without going into all the details, someone had sent an outrageous email to my dad and dad had forwarded it to me.
And whoosh…off I went!
I (metaphorically) hit the roof. There wasn’t even a pause or a chance to consider my reaction, I read the email and wham, just like that, I needed to be peeled from the ceiling. I don’t think I was outwardly angry but I immediately got on the phone and I could hear myself trying to fix and mend this ridiculous situation.
It wasn’t going to be fixed, not at least until Monday when the people involved were back at work. As I sat there in the dim light of the office, coat half on, I felt sick. The adrenaline was wearing off and I just felt so cross both at the situation and also myself for hitting the ceiling without thought. Where was God in all of this? Why hadn’t I even involved him?
I messaged a few friends and asked for God’s peace to calm down and then on the way home I had time to process and try to get to the bottom of my over-the-top reaction. As I pulled into the drive, I rang my dad to check he was ok and he was totally unfazed. ‘Of course I’m fine…I’ve been in this place before and God has always made things right. Don’t react, let it play out. Let’s see what God will do’.
And all of a sudden I was reminded that God is the perfect judge and ruler of justice. Nothing escapes his attention and sometimes it’s ok for us to just stand (or sit) still and let him fight on our behalf.
I was reminded of famous words in Exodus 14:14 when Moses was up against the night of the Egyptians…
But Moses told the people, “Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the LORD’s salvation, which He will accomplish for you today; for the Egyptians you see today, you will never see again. The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.”
I’m not suggesting this battle was anything like the fight Moses faced but the simple truth remains the same, sometimes we need to be still and remember that God will fight for us.
As for me, I’ve got some work to do to figure out where this overreaction to perceived injustice comes from, but knowing my Lord, the judge of all judges is fighting for me, makes all the difference in the world.